Denny Crane and "The Secret"

Boston Legal, the wonderfully quirky TV show, did a grand send-up of "The Secret," the latest positive thinking, magnetic power of your mind book and movie that's being shown in many churches. Goofy Lawyer Denny Crane tries to conjure up a visit from Raquel Welch but his vibrations don't work quite right and Phyllis Diller shows up. The so- called secret law of attraction gets discovered anew every ten years or so and makes a ton of money for its promoters. Too bad it has become a religion.

Church Growth Movement

It's a big thing, the user friendly, seeker sensitive, purpose driven church growth movement. One of the well known anti-churches calls itself "church for people that hate church."

It almost makes me think maybe there really is a literal devil, sitting in his air conditioned office down there, dreaming up evil schemes to win folks over to his side. His sexretaries, former porn stars, are busy sending faxes to all the church consultants that are on his payroll.

Patsy Cline, Bettie Page

Patsy and Bettie?? Now there's as unlikely a combination as you will find. Let me explain.I think I'm in love with Patsy and I have the notorious Bettie Page, legendary pin-up girl to thank for it. I always liked Patsy's "I fall to pieces, " "Crazy" and some other songs but never paid a whole lot of attention her music. Then her most unusual treatment of the old gospel song, "Life's Railway to Heaven" showed up on the soundtrack of the Bettie Page film. I didn't recognize the voice but I had to know who that was. So I ran through the credits at the end again, and there it was. Patsy Cline. That song took me back to my Methodist Sunday School days. Usually sung quite fast in country gospel style, Patsy did it slow, plaintive, almost ballad-like with a backup vocal group making chugging train sounds.Gives me major goosebumps. Turns out that the Grand Canyon Railroad used her recording on their commercial. Thanks for the memory and the music, Patsy. And thanks to Bodacious Bettie.

Huffing and Puffing churches

I remember when the big, mainline Protestant denominations were forces for great good. They produced some nationally famous pulpit orators, thanks largely to the power of radio in those days. Now those churches are flyng apart, mired in controversy and rancor, desperate to stay alive in a changing world. Many are engaged in frantic competition with the secular world on its own terms.There's a great line, usually attributed to columnist Joseph Sobran: "I'd rather be in a church that's five hundred years behind the times than one that's five minutes behind and huffing and puffing to catch up."

Religious Types

Fundamentalists worship the Bible. Or the Koran or some other book. New Agers worship spiritual laws and principles. Liberals worship their own intellect.

Rick Warren, Billy Graham

It's reported that when Billy Graham was asked about Rick Warren, the mega church founding father of the purpose driven movement, he said "Who?" I hope it's true. I suspect that there are some contemoporary clergy who would answer that way if somebody asked them about Jesus.

Dr. Gene Scott

I used to listen to Scott on shortwave radio. Never could figure out what he was talking about but his non-stop 24 hour rambling fascinated me anyway. His widow continues his world wide ministry.

Dr. Arthur Caliandro

The only preacher that I could listen to every Sunday is Dr. Arthur Caliandro, who followed Dr. Norman Vincent Peale at NYC' s Marble Collegiate Church. That's probably because he reminds me of the Methodist preaching I was raised on long ago. Laced with great quotes, illustrations and personal stories. You just don't get much of that these days. It takes years of preaching and living to develop that style. And it's probably not dynamic enough for today's high powered mega churches. I am not happy that the Hallmark channel took him off of their Sunday lineup.

Recovering from former religion

Oh what a fascinating thing, those who trash a fomer religion that they are "recovering" from. There's a well known militant Catholic, a brilliant fellow who has written lots of books. He used to be a militant, Catholic-hating Protestant minister. He set about proving the evil of Rome and wound up becoming Catholic. Now he says things like "all Prots go to hell." I know a former minister in one of the most provincial groups who now wants nothing to do with any kind of religion. Go figure. Lord save us from the reformed, the recoverees who spend their lives getting over something they used to do or be.

Waiting for God...

Waiting for God to give me something to say. If He doesn't, there will be a whole lot of nothing here. Whole lot of nothing .... that's a pretty good description of what some preachers are saying. But they sure say it well.